Ch. 124
“Mieltata! A major city in Koiren! She’s definitely there right now!”
The young mage, desperate to make up for his mistake, scraped together all the fragments of conversation he could remember.
The first one to place the communication call had been a mage who looked completely worn out by life. He’d said it was the Mielta branch. Then he said he would connect the guest—and the next to appear was Geenie Crowell.
“Who recognized Crowell?!”
“Me, Headmaster.”
Another mage, previously buried in the corner of the room during the commotion, nervously raised his hand.
He was stiff with fear, like he didn’t want to draw attention to himself.
“Are you certain it was Geenie Crowell?”
“I’m sure! My classmate’s basically a Geenie Crowell stalker. He wouldn’t shut up about her, so I’d know that face anywhere. That tone, that look in her eyes—how could anyone forget it?”
“…Hampf!”
“Yes, Headmaster!”
The assistant who was called quickly stepped forward. At last, he looked like his usual reliable self.
“We can’t just sit around waiting. Send someone to Mielta immediately. Request an urgent audience with His Majesty! And you—contact Miss Crowell’s home. And you, don’t leave your post. There may be another call.”
“Yes, sir!”
“And another thing… see! Didn’t I say it? She’s not the kind of girl to die so easily!”
The Headmaster looked as if he were trapped in a storm of emotions. He let out a shout, laughed, gasped, then turned solemn—over and over again.
“Not so easily… with a dragon involved…”
“I must go to the palace at once! Lead the way!”
That day, Drike Academy was more chaotic than it had ever been—and the ripples quickly spread to the royal palace.
Geenie Crowell, thought to be dead, had returned.
—
“Yaaawn… Why are my ears so itchy?”
While digging at my ear with a pinky, I thought I should probably cut my nails.
I crossed the plaza leisurely, staring at the nails that had gotten way too long.
Once Rai showed up, I’d file them down on his feet. That part of his body was one of the few soft spots, perfect for nail filing.
Metal spirits sure had strange uses in strange places.
“Hey, you! Blonde lady!”
“Huh? Me?”
“How about some tasty lamb skewers? Two for 20 coopers if you buy now! Normally they’re 12 each!”
“Hmmm.”
The plaza was packed with food stalls, and hawking was common.
Now that he mentioned it, I was feeling a little hungry. Probably because I’d skipped breakfast. Before I knew it, I was standing in front of the stall.
“Today’s a good day! Just 10 coopers each!”
“I was going to buy two anyway.”
The vendor didn’t miss a beat and handed me the skewers right away.
“Alright then, 18 coopers with a 2-cooper discount!”
Did I even have that small change? Oh—thankfully, I had some silver coins left from the Mage Tower.
I’d spent nearly 4 gold just sending a few telegrams and making two video calls that didn’t even go through.
When you consider this skewer costs 10 coopers, those calls were ridiculously expensive.
I handed over 1 silver and took a big bite of the skewer, wondering where Bright had gone.
I finally made a call, and the man’s on vacation? How dare he relax while I was clawing my way out of the jungle!
This is an outrage. Utterly offensive.
He was the best guy to push chores onto, and he’s gone.
“He’s never around when I need him.”
Grumbling, I devoured the skewer in seconds.
I wanted to have Bright bring Annie here, pass along this sword to the Headmaster, and run a dozen other errands—but he disappeared on vacation, so now I had no way to reach him.
Who would’ve thought I’d fail to get through to everyone?
I’d naïvely assumed that just placing a communication spell would be enough to talk face to face.
The most important task today had been telling the Headmaster about Annie—but that didn’t happen either.
Having my perfectly laid-out plans fall apart was beyond irritating.
“The Headmaster being busy, fine. But Bright? Where the hell did he go? Don’t tell me he went dragon hunting just to find me.”
Feeling cranky, I glanced sideways and saw something else to eat.
That fried salamander tail looked pretty good. If I buy a fresh bun and stuff it in, it’d be perfect.
Drawn in, I started walking toward the stall. It had been a while since I got to enjoy a proper city.
—
Just as I was feeling frustrated from all the failed calls, Ash’s group woke up and sent word that they’d hand Annie off to me. Rai, of course, took that as his cue to bombard me with intense spiritual longing.
We’d agreed to meet nearby.
Even with my terrible sense of direction, I could usually find my way to a plaza.
Plazas were generally located at the center of a town.
“What’s that?”
As I strolled around the plaza with a snack in hand, I spotted a noisy crowd gathering in one area.
From the way people had formed a circle, it looked like a traveling troupe or a street play.
I remembered seeing something like that at a festival in Elan once.
Even though I got kidnapped by slavers that day, the festival itself had been pretty fun.
Now that I think about it, that was around the time Bright and I became close. He had nothing to do with the kidnapping, but he cried like a baby, feeling guilty and sorry. That’s when I found him a little endearing.
I casually made my way toward the crowd.
I had free time, was in a peaceful mood, and totally ready to enjoy whatever was going on.
“Oh, mighty dragon!”
“Please quell your wrath and forgive humanity!”
Squeezing through the crowd, I found a modest play underway.
Like most street performances, it was rather shabby, but people were watching with genuine excitement.
In a world with few entertainments, even this seemed fun.
I joined the spectators, casually sucking on a candy.
All they had were some glittering cloths strung up high, but you could tell it was supposed to be a party scene. Judging by what I could see, it involved a dragon.
If they were claiming that guy in a paper dragon mask was supposed to be a dragon…
“Offer your jewels, humans!”
Ugh, dragons are annoying no matter the era. Natural disasters with wings. Why do they always come back?
“Or I shall destroy you all!”
“Eek!”
“Oh my heavens!”
The acting was stiff. The actors dressed as kings or officials all looked gaunt, like they hadn’t eaten in days.
What kind of king looks that malnourished?
Was that crown made of leaves? That cloak looked like a flour sack. And the dragon wasn’t breathing fire but tossing out yellow-dyed salt.
The play’s quality was rock bottom, but the cherry on top was the “princess,” who looked like a brunette stuffed into an awkwardly gold-colored wig.
No need to keep watching—I already knew the rest. The dragon would kidnap the princess, and the prince would go save her.
Even without knowing the full story, it was clearly some ridiculous old tale. I glanced around, trying to find the title.
“The Birth of a Saint! The Day of Sacrifice”
I spotted the old, weathered sign in a corner—one that had been rewritten so many times it was hard to read. I’d never heard of this play before.
More than anything, the title was terrible.
Like most mythology-inspired plays, it was dripping with tacky drama…
[Where are you, Master?]
Sounded like Rai had arrived. From his voice, I could tell he was nearby. A moment later, he poked out from between someone’s legs.
[Finally found you! What are you watching?]
[A popular play, I guess.]
[Looks super cheap.]
Yeah, no kidding. It’s so boring, but I’ve kept watching because I’ve been getting this weird sense of déjà vu.
“Oh mighty dragon! Please, take me, Geenie Crowell, instead!”
“Pfft…”
“Spare the others!”
…Wait, what?
Why was my name coming out of that actress’s mouth? Don’t tell me…
[Uh, Master! Since when were you the main character?!]
“What the hell is that?!”
Was this about me?!
Reality hit, and I let out a horrified scream. My voice was so loud it disrupted the entire play.
The actors and audience turned to glare at me, but I couldn’t regain my composure. I just stood there, trembling.
In a daze, I swayed on my feet as the “dragon” grabbed the blonde princess—no, me.
“Human! Your noble sacrifice has moved me!”
“You’ve gotta be kidding me.”
“Shh!”
I even got shushed by someone next to me, telling me not to ruin the show.
Regardless of whether I was losing my mind, the play marched on.
And it only got worse.
“To honor Geenie Crowell’s sacrifice, her family shall be elevated to the rank of Count and declared an Imperial Hero!”
“Long live the Saint!”
“The entire empire shall remember her sacrifice forever!”
“Hooray!”
“Glory to her!”
Don’t honor me! I’m not dead…
I can’t watch this.
Tears started welling up. Not from emotion—out of sheer humiliation. I felt like I was going to die from secondhand embarrassment. Did I really have to prove a human could die of shame?
“What am I even watching? I can’t believe this…”
Then and now, the one thing I could never stand was cringe. I’d rather get stabbed in the throat.
“Ooooooh!”
“Oooooh!”
The actors dressed as nobles broke into praise as the play ended, and I felt like I’d never recover.
My stomach churned, and I felt so sick I might vomit any second.
“Uurgh…”
[Wh-what, are Saints really that scarce? Of all people, why Master…]
“Right?! That’s what I’ve been saying!”
[Normally, you’d deck someone for this.]
It was bad enough that they made a play out of that incident—but the way they exaggerated and glorified it?
The over-the-top praise gave me chills.
I was so embarrassed I couldn’t even breathe.
When the crowd applauded and someone sniffled with tears of emotion, I just wanted to turn to dust and disappear.
Why am I the one who has to suffer the embarrassment?!