Ch. 215
“Aren’t you travelers here to see Toomdra? Buying tickets is a war. You should’ve prepared in advance.”
“That’s true, but the others are handling it… It’ll be fine. I also have a letter of introduction, and if they don’t want to die, they’ll get the tickets. More importantly, when the manager returns, can you ask him to find related books? I’ll come again.”
“I will. You can stop by after Toomdra ends.”
These days, the whole city buzzed with nothing but Toomdra.
“Thank you. My name is Geenie. I’m staying at the inn over there. Please let me know when the manager comes back.”
“Yes. Our bookstore is the largest in Helikke. If we don’t have a book, no other shop will.”
—
Just in case, I stopped by the library, but I didn’t gain much. Instead, I was drawn to a small shop tucked between the library and bookstore, with a sign reading:
“Book Repair Specialist — Antique Book Sales”
“Do you repair water-damaged books?”
“Yes, yes. I need to see the condition first, but it’s almost always possible.”
“What do you use? Magic? Or some reagent?”
“Customer! That’s a trade secret. I can’t tell you.”
“Alright. I’ll come back later.”
I should return to the inn and bring the damaged books. Even if they weren’t fully restored, anything would be better than their current state.
“Huh? It’s Ash.”
As I stepped out of the repair shop, I spotted Ash walking out of the bookstore.
His profile, scanning the area with a serious expression, looked exactly like someone searching for me.
I was perfectly competent wandering alone in any city, but Ash always got anxious.
Why? Worrying about a tiger while it strolls among rabbits—truly strange.
I opened my lips to call his name, but he found me first and strode toward me.
His face was expressionless, but unmistakably angry.
“Geenie! If you’re going somewhere, tell me—”
“It’s right next door?”
The inn was close enough to see. I hadn’t gone far, and Rai was with me.
“You didn’t bring Rai either!”
“…Uh.”
[I am here?]
Right. I’d forgotten he was curled inside my clothes in snake form.
Sometimes Ash’s worry turned into frustration and then anger.
The only times he was genuinely mad at me were when I acted defenseless or behaved as if nothing could hurt me.
“I asked you not to go around alone.”
“But the security here is good…”
“That’s exactly when accidents happen! It’s not you I mistrust—there are bad people aiming for people like you!”
“It’s daytime…”
“Geenie!”
“What! I’m strong anyway!”
“Only you know that! It’s not that difficult to prevent trouble if possible! Just be a little cautious! You know what I’m worried about! But you don’t care whether I worry or not!”
I’d been grumbling, but now I was irritated—why was I being scolded?
I want to live how I want this time.
That’s why I trained Mana every morning, practiced again at night despite being sleepy—I finally reached freedom.
Strength is freedom. That was the truth of this world.
“You’re being so annoying! Stop it already! What are you, a dog? Why are you chasing me around everywhere!”
I knew he was worried. But it was still annoying. I can take care of myself—ugh, did I go too far?
I regretted it immediately.
Ash took a deep breath and bit his lip, eyes shimmering with tears, as if he’d heard something horrific.
[Tsk tsk. Master is too cold. Ash can’t handle verbal abuse. I’m fine with it!]
[…Was that even verbal abuse? It wasn’t that much…]
[Master has no love in her words! No kindness! No sense of consideration! She’s cruel! A bad woman who only thinks of herself! If Ash leaves, she’ll cry and regret it! I know everything… I’ll stop. Stop thinking these terrible thoughts… hic, it’s scary…]
My irritation vanished instantly, but Rai’s inability to read the atmosphere forced me to make a stiff face.
Ash misunderstood that expression as being directed at him.
“Okay. I know I’m not in any position to worry about you. I know how ridiculous it must seem… You can treat me like a dog. But you… you’re not even fully recovered, and yet you keep…”
“……”
“Like that…”
Ugh. Guilt.
When Ash talked like that, I lost all ability to talk back. If you asked which of us had better judgment, it was unquestionably Ash.
I knew I was wrong. I just did whatever I wanted, whether I should or not.
“Please. Think a little about the people who worry about you.”
He was about to cry. I didn’t want to make him cry that way.
I swallowed my pride, moved my lips, soothed the drooping Ash, and pulled him into a nearby alley.
There were too many eyes on us on the street.
Once inside the dim alley, I stroked his arm and offered something that sounded like an apology—but wasn’t.
I didn’t do anything wrong, so this wasn’t a real apology. Sorry-but-not-sorry.
“Sorry. I didn’t know you were that worried.”
“It’s because you don’t think about anything that I end up having to think for both of us.”
“…I’m not hurt anywhere, and I’m safe. I can summon Undine now. I can deal with anything that happens.”
“You said you hadn’t recovered completely and wanted to rest soon. You said not to wake you at the inn so you could sleep well… And you forced yourself to come to the capital. You spent that money. Wasn’t it because you wanted to rest?”
So that’s why he didn’t say anything while I spent money freely. He must have thought I was tired.
Honestly… I was just annoyed. My physical condition wasn’t that bad.
“You don’t show it, so I… I can only guess. I can only worry. I wonder if you’re hurting, or forcing yourself, or if you’re really okay…”
“That’s… I just wanted to lie down quickly… But I always want to lie down everywhere, even when I’m perfectly fine.”
“Akia said you barely take your medicine even when she gives it. She told me to make sure you take it. She said your recovery was fast considering that, but continuing like this isn’t good. She said your internal injuries have become a habit… How badly did you push yourself to make pain a habit?”
“When you push your limits… It doesn’t hurt that much…?”
As if contracting High-grade spirits was something you could do while sipping tea.
You had to endure internal injuries, cough blood, and live as a cripple for years before realizing “Ah, I’m going to die before I contract a High-grade spirit.” That’s the actual level required.
While grumbling inwardly, I continued being scolded.
“I thought you were finally resting. But when I knocked, you didn’t come out. No movement! I was worried something happened while the innkeeper said two young ladies went missing yesterday—”
“Oh, that’s unfortunate.”
“Geenie! You—sometimes you act like someone who’s died and come back to life.”
Oh. Correct.
“I don’t know why, but that’s how it feels sometimes… Why aren’t you afraid of anything? Why do you act like nothing matters? You don’t care about killing someone or putting yourself in danger…”
“Awh, were you worried?”
I considered changing the subject, touched his cheek lightly—and only ended up making him angrier.
“Stop treating me like a child! I’m a man… You know that.”
I burst out laughing when he yelled in frustration, only to immediately look like he might cry.
I laughed openly while Ash held my right hand.
Ash was still cute.
“Puhahaha!”
Then he stepped forward—no, he advanced until my back touched the wall, and his body loomed over me.
Trapping me between the cold wall and his warmth, Ash leaned in, uncharacteristically bold.
“Am I that childish? Why? Geenie, what about me is so… I don’t understand.”
While I was simply amused, Ash seemed tangled in confusion.
He didn’t know that I had literally died and returned, just as he’d said. And more importantly, his worried expression was adorable.
I stroked his solid shoulder, sandwiched between stone and the heat of his body.
It was strange to treat such a sturdy man like a child.
“Ash, don’t be angry.”
“…I’m sorry if I seemed angry.”
“You’re not bad. Neither am I.”
“I don’t know. I don’t know what to do with you… I can’t decide anything.”
It became difficult when he looked at me like that—earnest, almost desperate.
“I’ve never been like this. I’m acting out of character. You don’t know how afraid I am that I’ll become obsessed with you.”
“Really?”
“I want you to look at me more. Think about me more. I pray to God that I’m not insignificant to you.”
“God won’t help you.”
I reached upward, wrapping my arms around his neck, lifting onto my toes. His face came closer when I finally asked the simplest question:
“Ash, do you want to kiss?”
I’d learned this somewhere—when a man is angry or serious, do what he loves.
And of course, I loved kissing even more than Ash did.
Everything else was troublesome. This alone was worth enjoying.
“Geenie…”
“Let’s do it, hm? Then you’ll feel better.”
Even embarrassed, he melted when I whispered low, my voice vibrating in my throat, my fingers trailing along the back of his neck.
Ash always broke the same way. And I loved that moment—when he couldn’t resist me.
It felt like he was entirely mine.
Maybe it was my Mage nature—when I liked something, I had to make it mine.
“Ah, wait.”
I pressed one finger under his chin, stopping him just before our lips touched.
His large body halted so easily under the lightest pressure. He was already looking at me differently.
“I don’t like that face.”
The fake face.
I’d never kissed that face before. We only kissed after Ash removed his necklace.
Ash froze for a heartbeat, then quickly took off his necklace with one hand and returned to me. I ended up sounding almost proud.
“Oh my, you’re getting better at taking it off now.”
“…This is also out of character for me. Because of you… I can’t control myself. No matter what I think, it doesn’t matter.”
“I’m happy about that.”
Whether because Lox wasn’t here, or because resisting me was harder than usual, Ash didn’t seem to struggle removing his necklace anymore. He was impatient.
He felt like he was rushing at me. Hugging something large always made me feel full.
I laughed as our lips met—but the laugh died quickly as he pulled me in.
Kissing deeply, I tilted my head and pressed again. And when the tips of our tongues brushed—
I stopped caring about anything else.
This was why I loved kissing.
Right now, Ash couldn’t think of anything except the feeling of kissing me.
Whenever I used the ring to read Ash at this moment, it was always the same.
It was always full of my name.
Calling it breathlessly, repeatedly, almost desperately—as if savoring every syllable until he couldn’t breathe.
How could I not find him cute?
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