Ch. 76
「To Anellia.
How have you been? Thanks to you, I safely entered the competition and even won an award. I wonder if you’ve returned from your request. Were you hurt at all?
Kenta and the commander of the Shavel Mercenary Corps are probably doing well too.
Since I couldn’t find your address, I’m sending this letter to the mercenary corps instead. Please reply if you get it.
Lately, I keep thinking I want to become strong like you.
Strong enough to survive alone in this world.
I realized this time—losing is such a humiliating thing.
Maybe, more than wanting to become strong, it’s more accurate to say I don’t want to lose.
I wonder if that day will come someday.
And I wonder if I’ll ever see you again.
Missing you on the 19th of the Blue Moon,
Geenie Crowell.」
「To Ash.
This is the third letter I’m writing to you.
But I know this one won’t reach you either. I think I should stop now.
It’s not that I’ve forgotten you. I’m just coming to terms with the fact that some things are impossible. I wonder if the day will ever come when I can thank you.
Ash, maybe because I’m not used to owing anyone, I keep thinking about you. That’s really unlike me.
Since we live in different worlds, maybe you’ve already forgotten me.
But if we ever meet again, I will repay this debt.
Just wait and see. My friend says I sound like a villain when I mumble things like this, so I should stop.
To Epiros, who was my friend for just one day on the 23rd of the Blue Moon.
P.S. Iruze told me to say she loves you. She wants to be considered as a bride candidate later. The two of you should give it a try.」
* * *
The navy-blue school backpack I’d been carrying since middle school had become shiny from daily use. My dad had bought it on his own, and it wasn’t that pretty, nor was it my taste.
It was bulky but sturdy, and no matter how roughly I treated it, it never broke. So I couldn’t even ask for a new one, which became my small complaint.
I slung the heavy, workbook-filled bag over my shoulder and stepped into my sneakers at the entrance.
“Mom!”
As usual in the morning, I was hungry. I thought I’d buy some gimbap on the way, but I needed some allowance from Mom for that.
“Give me some money, I’m heading to school! I need to buy workbooks.”
She would definitely nag if she found out I already spent the allowance she gave me on Monday.
So I decided to use the workbook excuse. Mom always gave me extra money for study materials.
“Jina.”
I had just tightened my shoelaces and stood up when I saw the strange look on Mom’s face in the living room.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“What are you talking about, you…”
“I’m really going to buy workbooks—”
“You’re not here anymore.”
With just that one sentence, everything around me vanished like magic.
The familiar entrance, our old but tidy home—everything disappeared.
I was just standing in a strange, empty space.
“Huh?”
When I looked down, I was wearing leather boots instead of sneakers. While I was still stunned, my school uniform turned into a long cloak embroidered with silver thread.
But what stood out the most was the long blonde hair cascading past my shoulders.
I’d had a bob cut for the longest time.
“…Mom, something’s wrong with me.”
“Jina.”
“Mom.”
“Did you find what you wanted to do there?”
I choked up, and my eyes burned.
“My sweet girl.”
The hand that reached out caressed my face gently—so gently, though it was a different face now…
“Did you find something you want to do?”
“…Yeah.”
“That’s good. Are you doing it a lot?”
I could only nod faintly, about to cry, and Mom smiled.
“Then that’s enough for me.”
And then I really did cry.
Tears streamed down my cheeks, and still, Mom kept stroking my face.
“Mom.”
“Why are you crying?”
“Are you okay without me?”
I hugged the familiar body tight and asked the question that had always worried me.
How much had Mom cried after losing me?
I was her only daughter, a precious late-born child she had after a long time.
Mom had aged, and her skin had become saggy and soft—something I missed dearly.
“Jina, if you’re happy, then everything’s okay for me.”
Looking back, Mom had always seemed like someone who couldn’t live without me.
Thinking of her never gave me peace of mind.
No matter how uneasy I felt, it wouldn’t affect Mom’s heart, and that always weighed on me.
“I… wasn’t okay. I was so worried you’d be sad…”
“It’s okay, my girl.”
“Mom.”
“No matter where you are, no matter who you become… as long as you’re happy, that’s all that matters.”
“Mom!”
Where is this place? Who am I? Where is Mom going?
Why am I left here alone?
As I stared at my empty hands, Mom’s voice echoed again.
“As long as you’re happy, that’s all that matters.”
* * *
Waking from that dream felt like being pulled from deep underwater—I took a sharp breath.
When I opened my eyes, I couldn’t remember Mom’s face.
I had just dreamed about her, but it was already fading. What did she look like again?
I squinted at the white arched ceiling.
No matter how hard I tried to recall, only the feeling of Mom remained—not her face.
At some point, I had lived here longer, and sometimes, I completely forgot about the past.
Sometimes, I was just Geenie Crowell, born in Dmitri.
A noble’s daughter, living in the Royal Drike Academy, spending her days wrestling with spirits like it was routine—just another ordinary human in this world.
I sat up on the blanket and stared blankly around the training room.
The ice spirit stone I had been fiddling with before bed was now rolling aimlessly on the floor.
“Ah…”
I had curled up and slept awkwardly on the cushion, so my body creaked as I stood and picked up the spirit stone.
I placed it into the wooden jewel box on the bookshelf and stretched.
My shoulders cracked as I loosened them and glanced out the window—it was still dawn.
I yawned, still short on sleep.
After snuffing out the candles placed around the room, I grabbed my cloak and stepped out of the training room.
I was practically living in the training room on the outskirts of the academy, and for some reason, the training room was situated right in the middle of a small forest.
“Rai.”
At my soft call, a white snake poked its head out from a nearby bush.
[Master, where are you going at this hour?]
“To my room.”
[It’s been a while since you last went there!]
“Yeah. I need to sleep in a bed tonight. I’m going out tomorrow, so I need proper rest.”
It would take about twenty minutes to walk to the main academy building where my room was.
I stepped into the pitch-dark forest. I wasn’t scared.
Rai was following me, and even if a stranger appeared, I could just tie them up and use them for practice—it’d be a welcome surprise.
Ador desperately needed a human test subject.
—
The room I hadn’t visited in a week was so cluttered with gifts that there was hardly space to step.
Most of them were presents congratulating my nineteenth birthday.
It seemed I had been here when about half of them had arrived.
The room, already a mess, had descended into utter chaos with the addition of all the presents.
[Master! This one! Let’s open this one!]
Rai made strange snuffling noises as he pointed to a gift box that undoubtedly contained some kind of metal.
I completely ignored Rai’s request and began clearing off the pile of presents stacked on the bed, then laid myself down on it.
[Aren’t you going to open the gifts?]
“Mm… too much effort.”
[Then can I open them?]
“No.”
I shut my eyes—and opened them again.
“You can sort them, though. Separate the ones from close friends and the ones that aren’t. Make some space too.”
Rai was well-versed in my personal network, having spent nearly every moment with me.
And since he didn’t sleep, he was basically the perfect servant to exploit 24/7.
[Huh? I’m a spirit, not a butler!]
“You’re a spirit with butler functions.”
He was finally starting to realize he was being treated like a servant and began to rebel.
[Master! If you’re going to make me do this kind of stuff, at least give me a body with arms and legs!]
The fact that he wanted to go in that direction made him a peculiar one.
[There are limits to what I can do in a snake’s body! Master! Are you even listening to me?]
“Mm… yeah. I’m going to sleep now.”
I drifted off, half-listening to Rai’s grumbling.
It had been a long time since I slept in a real bed.
