Chapter 113
The tournament ended in triumph as Cledwyn once again felled his opponent in the finals with a single blow.
The announcer’s voice calling out the champion’s name sounded distant, as if underwater. Nerys couldn’t believe the harvest festival’s last day had already arrived.
Had the autumn tax issue been settled? Yes, it had—she remembered receiving the report that all was complete.
What about the best apple awards? That had gone smoothly too. Which region had won? Dolien, right.
The ball… Yes, the official schedule concluded with tonight’s harvest festival closing ball. Preparations were finished for that…
There was no way the staff hadn’t noticed how odd their usually sharp superior was acting.
Especially since Karl was imprisoned and Hughin had suddenly quit, the junior staff under Nerys—who had grown used to working with her—definitely sensed something was off.
Every time she noticed their strange glances, Nerys blamed herself. After all her years of experience, after all this time, she was letting childish emotions affect those around her.
She was sure it wasn’t impacting her work. But if that were true, would they be glancing at her like this?
So, after the awards ceremony, Nerys went to her room in the western palace for a moment to clear her head. She brewed a strong herbal tea and drank several cups in a row.
Knock, knock. Someone rapped at the door.
“Riz, are you in there?”
It was her mother’s voice.
“Yes, come in!”
The door opened carefully, and her mother entered, still dressed as she had been in the guest box—she must have followed Nerys in.
Seeing her mother’s worried face, Nerys managed an awkward smile.
“What is it?”
“Can I sit with you for a minute?”
“Of course.”
Her mother sat next to her on the bed. Nerys thought she could guess what her mother wanted to say.
And when her mother spoke, Nerys’s guess was confirmed.
“You and His Grace…”
“We’re lord and subordinate.”
“My dear, you can tell me everything.”
“Really.”
Nerys gave a wry smile at her mother’s disbelief. Not just because of the matter of heirs… well, it wasn’t just that, but you couldn’t separate that from anything else, either.
“There’s no way I could marry someone like him with my status. And His Grace is far too proper a person to take a mistress before marriage.”
If she was neither wife nor mistress, then there wasn’t anything to talk about, was there? At Nerys’s firm answer, her mother frowned.
“What’s wrong with your status? You’re a noble, too. Riz, I think His Grace—”
“Let’s just call it rank, then.”
She didn’t want to say any more. The moment her mother said Cledwyn’s title, Nerys felt suffocated and cut her off. She didn’t want the subject to go on.
Her mother sighed softly.
“You’ve always been such a smart child. So smart I sometimes wondered if you could really be mine… I just wanted you to be free. Your father and I have always loved you, but there’s only so much we could give you, and we knew it.”
Nerys smiled and hugged her mother. She knew well how hard her mother had tried.
“I know. I’m really grateful you sent me to the Academy.”
If she hadn’t gone, would she have been able to avoid all the storms after her Jeweled Eyes awakened?
She’d wondered that before—in her past life, and even after she returned.
But the answer was always no. With something like Jeweled Eyes, the story would have spread for sure.
She might have avoided being bullied at school, but she’d still have been thrown into political battles as a scapegoat, unable to say a word among all those polished children.
“I thought you’d have more possibilities after graduating from the Academy. That you’d have wings to fly wherever you wanted. If you’re holding back your pain just for me…”
“What?”
Hold back her pain? Nerys blinked in confusion. Her mother gazed at her sadly.
“Would a man who’d just returned from a long campaign have dinner alone with a woman he didn’t care about? I’ve always thought His Grace cares for you. So if it’s too hard, I want to help any way I can. But if you really think there’s no hope with him, you don’t have to stay by his side just for my sake. You can quit and work somewhere else.”
Huh? Nerys mulled her mother’s words over and over, and finally realized.
Her mother was sure there was affection between her and Cledwyn. So if it was hopeless, she was saying not to suffer needlessly for an impossible love—just leave.
Maybe her mother even thought Cledwyn had brought her here for Nerys’s sake.
And that Nerys, even knowing his feelings, was enduring it all and supporting her mother while despairing over a love that couldn’t be.
“That’s nonsense, Mom.”
Cledwyn wasn’t the kind of person to think so cowardly. If Nerys truly wanted to leave, she could have, anytime.
At least, her mother was not the reason she stayed.
Nerys hugged her mother tight. She smelled that familiar, clean scent that had filled her childhood.
Her heart calmed. Yes, just this was enough for her.
After all, before time turned back, the thing she most regretted was her mother’s death. She’d given everything to that monster, not knowing a thing!
She couldn’t afford to misplace her priorities in this life.
“Mom.”
Nerys murmured softly. Her mother hugged her and patted her on the shoulder.
“My beautiful child. What is it?”
“You’ll always stay by my side, right?”
“Of course. As long as you need me, I’ll always be there.”
Her mother didn’t know how much effort it would take just to achieve that—just that.
This was enough.
Nerys sobbed quietly, and her mother, not knowing the reason, gently patted her daughter’s back.
Always.
❖ ❖ ❖
“What’s wrong?”
At Talfrin’s question, Cledwyn bared his teeth threateningly.
Uh-oh, maybe this was the wrong time. Talfrin thought jokingly, but his eyes were cold and serious.
It had already been several days since his lord, who had seemed ready to propose at any moment, hadn’t even gone near his beloved advisor.
At first, it seemed she was the one avoiding him. Every time Cledwyn appeared, she’d glance away, send subordinates for errands, cut conversations short.
Of course, they still talked when duty demanded, and did so quite naturally. Which only made it more obvious something was wrong.
Then, a few days ago, even Cledwyn stopped saying anything unnecessary to Nerys.
‘If it was just a light quarrel, there’s no way it would have lasted this long with those two personalities.’
And what reason would there be for them to fight, anyway?
The two of them worked perfectly together, and even when they disagreed, they never let emotions flare.
Both tried hard not to show their feelings at work, but no one in the palace could fail to notice the problem.
Nerys seemed to be forcing her usual expression, but sometimes she flinched, pitifully, when alone.
Cledwyn, on the other hand, was like a winter storm—icy cold.
Work got done on time, but when the boss’s mood changed, the staff couldn’t help but notice.
Nerys’s subordinates were too busy worrying about their boss. And Cledwyn’s?
‘Too busy worrying about him.’
That’s why Talfrin approached. If someone didn’t step in now, things could get dangerous in all kinds of ways.
The closing ball of the harvest festival was perfect for this. At least, there wouldn’t be a sudden duel in the middle of a ball.
No matter how distant the Duke and the advisor were, the people at the ball danced merrily. Three new marriage arrangements had been made during the festival, and five reconciliations between traditionally hostile regions—a success.
Cledwyn sat on a high throne at the edge of the ballroom. If he’d been mingling, people would have watched his every move, but since he sat on the throne, no one paid him much attention.
A page stood by him, holding a wine glass, but it was only natural for a Duke to have a page at his side.
So Cledwyn could grumble freely to Talfrin, disguised as a page.
“I don’t even know what’s wrong. I must have done something for her to suddenly avoid me.”
“Weren’t things fine until you got back from the fireworks?”
“They were. I kept checking if she was tired, but she didn’t seem it, and I swear she was having fun up until halfway through.”
“So things changed after that?”
“During the fireworks. Her face went cold then.”
“Maybe she doesn’t like fireworks?”
“Really?”
This was the head of Yaheon? Cledwyn glared, and Talfrin just lifted his chin, as if to say, “What?”
“Come on, there must be a reason that makes sense. Our advisor isn’t the type to act on a whim.”
Since when was she “our” advisor? Knowing further glares wouldn’t work, Cledwyn just gazed down at the ballroom.
“…Maybe I was too much. It felt like she was drawing a line.”
– “I like you as a person. But that’s all.”
He wanted her heart.
Even just a tiny piece of it—if she’d give him even a little, he’d want nothing more.
But it seemed she didn’t want that.
Talfrin was amazed at the sigh he heard beside him. If southerners heard that the ‘cruel, merciless tyrant’ was sighing over being rejected by a woman, they’d laugh themselves silly.
“So, are you giving up?”
She’d drawn the line, and he’d stopped approaching. Normally, that would mean there was no more hope for the relationship.
Just then, down on the ballroom floor, a young noble approached Nerys to ask her to dance. Sparks flew from Cledwyn’s eyes.
‘Oh boy.’
Before Talfrin could sigh about that oblivious youth, Nerys seemed to politely refuse. They talked for far too long for it to be a yes, and when they finished, the young man slunk away, disappointed.
Cledwyn ground his teeth and grinned.
“What do you mean, give up?”
“You know—maybe try finding another lady.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. Whether she likes me or not, why should my feelings change?”
“Well, your feelings are your own…”
“Exactly. If she doesn’t want me to approach her, I won’t. If she wants another man, that’s that. I can’t change her heart, so I have to respect it, right?”
Given the way he’d just looked at that young man, Talfrin could guess what “that’s that” really meant, but he didn’t comment. There was no point.
“Right?”
“But my feelings aren’t changing either. Just wait and see.”
A look of resolve burned in Cledwyn’s eyes.
“When she develops even a little bit of feeling for me, let’s see if I’m fool enough to let it slip by.”
(T/N: Way to go mannnnn!)
