Chapter 135

Nerys recognized that hand immediately. How could she not? Up until last year, she’d eaten and done homework with it right in front of her.

She sighed, quickly walking around the stone wall to face Diane standing there alone.

“What are you doing here?”

It was a question born of exasperation. How long had it been since she’d almost died at the hands of her own maid? Had Diane no fear at all?

But Diane didn’t answer, just looked at her seriously and asked,

“Why did you do it?”

“What?”

Nerys was startled, but acted nonchalant. Dora checked the surroundings, found nothing dangerous, and stepped aside a few paces.

“Why did you try to save me?”

“When did I?”

“I know it was you who pushed me when I was about to be stabbed. And I know it was your hand that caught my arm.”

Nerys hadn’t expected Diane to know. She wondered if she should keep denying it, but sighed, realizing it would be pointless.

“If a guest of Maindulante dies, I’d be in a difficult position. That’s all.”

“You’d risk your life for a ‘difficult position’?”

“I wasn’t in any real danger. I trusted Dora to protect me.”

That was half true. Nerys did trust in Dora’s skills and believed Dora could handle that last assassin.

It would have been a lie to say she wouldn’t have moved if Dora hadn’t been there.

‘Some help I am…’

As Diane’s expression shifted, Nerys cursed Camille in her heart.

Thanks to her old sister-in-law’s misreading of their strength, everyone was safe. But now Diane was probably getting the wrong idea again.

Thinking they could go back to the way things were.

“Then why not just tell Dora to protect me? Why did you throw yourself in?”

Nerys couldn’t answer. Diane watched her, then spoke earnestly.

“Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“Don’t get hurt for my sake. What makes me happy is knowing you’re safe and happy.”

“Diane, if you die, nothing matters.”

“I still care.”

“Don’t talk like a child. You’ve never died. Go back where there are people. What if someone comes after you again?”

Realistically, another attack was unlikely. If the Silver Moon had spare agents, they wouldn’t have stayed hidden during the failed operation. Talfrin had already combed the area in fury.

But Nerys was only saying this because she didn’t want to continue the conversation. Diane’s eyes flared in frustration at her evasiveness.

“I’ll go if you answer me properly. Why did you throw yourself in front? You said if you die, nothing else matters. Is your own safety really less important than your ‘position’?”

“Diane.”

Seeing Diane wasn’t going to back down, Nerys gave a slightly more honest answer.

“I made an objective decision. You living is more important than me living.”

Diane’s eyes grew huge. Even Dora, listening from nearby, was stunned.

“Why? Why would you think that?”

“Don’t make me say it. Because you’re more valuable than me.”

Unlike the “I trusted Dora” line, this was the pure truth. And because it was, its implication weighed heavily on Diane.

That Nerys didn’t value herself very highly.

Even after saying something so heartbreaking, Nerys looked dissatisfied, as if thinking, “Isn’t that enough for you?”

Diane felt breathless. Her chest ached. But her mind cleared.

She realized she’d only been saying the wrong things to Nerys all along. What Diane thought was important had only built the stubborn defensive wall around Nerys’s heart.

What was needed now wasn’t more words, but something else.

Maybe Nerys didn’t see her own feelings as valuable.

Not because she had no feelings, but because she ignored them.

‘So that’s what it was.’

A strange laugh bubbled up. With sad eyes and a smile, Diane told her,

“Riz.”

“Maybe you should stop calling me that.”

“I’m going to keep calling you that. Want to know why?”

“Why?”

“Because you’re precious to me, and I want to be precious to you, and I want you to know it too.”

Nerys’s eyes widened. Diane felt victorious. This was it!

Knowing now, Diane felt a little hollow. If that was the problem, she’d have said it long ago.

‘If only I’d told her I liked her every day…’

Maybe then Riz would have told her the truth from the start.

Lost in those thoughts, Diane saw Nerys’s expression freeze again.

“I don’t know why you’re saying this.”

“Because you’re an idiot.”

She never imagined she’d say that.

“I never thought I’d call you an idiot. But I want you to realize there’s nothing more important than your own life. I want you to know how much those who care about you love you. I want you to care about yourself, too.”

Sunlight poured down on Diane’s head.

Her lustrous dark brown hair, her sparkling green eyes. Diane MacKinnon was a lovely young lady, and Nerys knew it. But—

She’d never seen Diane shine so brightly as now.

Unable to say anything, Nerys watched as Diane burst into laughter.

“Haha, hahaha… Idiot, you know you make the stupidest faces in times like this for someone so smart?”

For Diane, it all finally made sense.

Why would someone busy like her spend every weekend and holiday with Diane, fight for her, go out of her way?

Why did she arrange for Diane and Joyce to get rooms on the first floor, along with her own, when hotels never put guest rooms on the first floor?

It was so Diane could easily reach someone if something happened—even going so far as to have extra rooms built. No one needed to be that considerate.

Nerys was just terrible at friendship. Diane knew that better than anyone, after all the meals, homework, and playtime they’d shared.

Nerys would never show if she liked something, and if anyone guessed, she’d pretend otherwise.

Nerys was speechless. Diane smiled.

“Riz, there’s only one thing I ever wanted to know—if you’re all right.”

Diane’s bright eyes struck Nerys like an arrow.

“I didn’t want to regret not realizing if you ever needed help.”

As if to say, I didn’t love you just because you were nearby or useful.

“Wasn’t it lonely, being far away? Did anyone bother you? Was there ever a day you wished for a friend?”

Nerys was lost, something rising up from her chest, beating at her throat.

So happy, so grateful… a memory of a warm feeling she’d believed in as a child.

But she couldn’t give in to it. She didn’t want to break that warmth with her own hands.

Diane smiled gently.

“You know, Riz, my brother says people are defined by what they’re born with at first, but as they live, those things matter less and the path they walk becomes more important—what they think, what they choose.”

Nerys opened her mouth. At last, her mind cleared.

She’d thought if she could just send Diane away or make her give up on their friendship, everything would be fine. But would Diane really give up?

She’d never left, no matter how cold Nerys acted or how she tried to push her away. Could that ever change?

No—did Nerys Truydd even have the right to sever something they’d built together?

Could she really let go of Diane?

“If that’s true, maybe half my life is defined by you. Ever since I met you, every morning I wondered what we’d do today, and every decision I made I wondered what you’d like.”

Nerys realized why Diane always dazzled her.

Why she always felt anxious.

Because she believed that brilliant affection would one day leave.

But if a person is defined by the life they’ve lived—

“…Sorry…”

Just as Diane was a part of her, she was a part of Diane.

She couldn’t just cut it off as if it belonged to her alone.

Nerys sighed, finally admitting,

“…I was harsh.”

Some bonds can’t be cut.

There were parts of herself she didn’t dislike after all.

A place she’d always dreamed of as a child—a place to return to.

A sweet hand she could never let go of, even if she died now.

Diane hugged Nerys tightly.

❖ ❖ ❖

“Ha!”

Talfrin’s “I knew it” face was getting old. Nerys coughed uncomfortably.

“Enough already.”

“What? I’m just feeling satisfied.”

“Satisfied with what?”

“Why, can’t I be? Don’t I have the right to feel pleased?”

“You’re just teasing me, aren’t you?”

She usually switched between formal and informal speech with Talfrin, but now she wanted to call him “you rascal.” Talfrin smiled, then quickly turned serious.

“The MacKinnons are clean. It’s quiet. I don’t think we need to worry about the Silver Moon anymore, but the real question is their intent.”

The captain of the guard and Dora nodded.

One of the guest rooms loaned by the lord of Dreykum had become Nerys’s temporary office. Nerys nodded sharply.

“The MacKinnon Group isn’t a shady operation. That maid was probably the only spy. Even important houses only manage a few spies at most, since it’s so expensive to train. I hear that maid was with them for over five years—using such a valuable card here shows how much they invested. Along with the seven they used for the attack.”

Everyone agreed. The captain glared and told Dora,

“Whatever their goal, the Adviser was the target. Don’t leave her side.”

“Yes.”

Dora didn’t have to obey him, but she answered dutifully. Talfrin clicked his tongue.

“You’re directly under the Adviser—just listen to her orders.”

“It’s my job to protect her anyway, so I wasn’t planning to leave.”

Having been called out for breaking the chain of command, the captain blushed a little. Nerys spoke gravely.

“How dare outsiders come here and run wild? Maindulante’s knights are hurt, the people’s property is burned. I won’t forget. I’ll pay them back for it.”

The three Maindulante natives all nodded seriously.

Nerys had every intention of settling the score. Especially for laying hands on Diane—she’d pay back twice as much if she had to.

‘I have to find a way to protect them.’

If she couldn’t cut off the MacKinnons, she would have to protect them. At the very least, she’d make sure that being connected to her would never bring them this kind of danger again.

And so, she began to make plans.