Doctor Goes Back to Joseon - Chapter 64: Catching a Hemorrhoid [2]

“So, do I just lie like this?”

Ryu Seongryong, his face unusually tense, spoke as he positioned himself.

Inside the room were Kang-hyuk, Dolseok, Yeoju, and Yeon. Simply put, everyone but Makbong was present.

“No, a little higher.”

“Like this?”

“Yes.”

“Is it absolutely necessary for my backside to be aimed upward like this?”

If one were to describe Seongryong’s position in a single word, “humiliating” would be the most fitting.

According to Yeoju’s notes, the position was as follows:
‘While lying face down, the legs were spread as far apart as possible. The knees were bent, and the hips were raised toward the ceiling. To prevent unexpected movement, iron restraints were used to secure him firmly in place.’

Born a nobleman, Ryu Seongryong could never have imagined himself in such a degrading posture.

“Yes, that’s correct.”

“Sigh… truly…”

A deep sigh of regret escaped Seongryong’s lips.

“Will this really cure me?”

If Kang-hyuk said otherwise, it seemed he might attempt to kill him on the spot, though his body was too bound to act on such a threat.

“Yes. Follow my instructions, and there will be no risk of recurrence.”

“That is a relief to hear.”

Even while nodding in agreement, his expression made it clear that he was enduring untold hardship.

‘Well, if what Brother Sun-shin said was true…’

There had been a time when he failed to carry out a royal order due to his condition.
While tasked with an inspection of the provinces, he had been bedridden.
It was said that King Seonjo laughed heartily upon hearing the reason, though whether this story was true remained uncertain.

“Alright, first, let’s lower your trousers.”

“Ugh.”

Lowering his trousers was the last straw for Seongryong. At this point, he wished he could simply fall asleep. Fortunately, Kang-hyuk had a convenient solution.

“That medicine you mentioned earlier. Could I have some now?”

“Ah, would you like that?”

“Yes, that seems best.”

“Understood.”

Kang-hyuk handed over the prepared dose of medicine. This dosage had been carefully refined through numerous experiments over the past few days.

The five bandit brothers had spent their days being repeatedly put to sleep and woken up, all to ensure that the dosage was both safe and effective.

‘They’ve contributed more than enough.’

Kang-hyuk nodded as he watched Seongryong gulp down the medicine.

“Hm. They say bitter medicine is good for the body, but this isn’t so bad.”

“I’m glad it suits your taste.”

“So, what now?”

“Just remain still, and you’ll soon fall asleep.”

“Is that so? I don’t feel sleepy ye—…snrk…”

True to its extensively tested formula, the medicine worked flawlessly. By the time Kang-hyuk counted to seven, Seongryong’s head drooped forward.

The effect was almost identical to inducing anesthesia in an operating room.

‘It doesn’t suppress breathing either.’

While it wouldn’t entirely block pain, that could be managed with local anesthesia.

“Alright, let’s undress him.”

“Yes, young master.”

Dolseok, looking somewhat flustered, carefully pulled down Seongryong’s trousers. It wasn’t every day a servant had the opportunity to disrobe a nobleman. His hands naturally moved with caution.

“Hey, hurry up.”

“What? But still, this is…”

“Which is more important: courtesy or treatment?”

It wasn’t exactly the sort of thing a nobleman would say, but everyone, including Dolseok, accepted it as typical of Kang-hyuk.

“Understood.”

With a swift motion, Seongryong’s trousers were removed.

His condition was revealed in all its severity.

Even compared to the magistrate of Anseong, Seongryong’s case was on another level.

‘Wow… How did he live like this?’

What lay before them was beyond the realm of an ordinary case of hemorrhoids. It was severe enough that death wouldn’t have been surprising.

Even after several days of sitz baths, the state of his condition remained abysmal.

Dolseok and Yeon, who knew little about such matters, stared in shock, their mouths agape.

“Is… is this really a backside?”

“Yes. What’s protruding here is called hemorrhoids.”

“Hemorrhoids?”

“Yes. These are structures that should normally stay inside the rectum, but pressure forces them out.”

Kang-hyuk was relieved he hadn’t sent Yeon away. This wasn’t the kind of surgery that could be managed by just two people.

‘There’s both internal and external hemorrhoids, and the severity is the worst I’ve ever seen.’

It would take the combined efforts of all three of them to even attempt treatment.
If Kang-hyuk weren’t the one in charge, any other ordinary doctor would have likely woken the patient and admitted defeat on the spot.

That was how bad the situation was.

“Everyone, stay focused. This is no joke.”

“Yes, young master.”

For the first time since arriving in Joseon, Kang-hyuk seemed genuinely tense.
Dolseok and Yeon gulped nervously in response.

‘Alright. First, inject the local anesthetic all around…’

They had to proceed in a way that minimized blood loss. There was no way to perform a transfusion, and Seongryong was already anemic.

“Hand me the syringe.”

“Yes.”

After running a simulation in his mind, Kang-hyuk began administering the injections.

To Dolseok, it looked like Kang-hyuk had stabbed dozens of times already.

It was a stark contrast to the magistrate of Anseong, who had applied a single injection before starting the incision.

“Young master.”

“What is it?”

“You seem especially meticulous with this patient.”

“I’m always meticulous when treating people.”

Both the speaker and listener knew this wasn’t entirely true.

“Have you forgotten the magistrate of Anseong?”

“Ah, him. Haha.”

Kang-hyuk let out an awkward laugh, clearly embarrassed.

“You prepared a special medicine and are giving so many injections…”

“That’s because he’s worth the effort. Now wipe the blood.”

“Yes, yes.”

What could Dolseok possibly understand?
The man before them was one of the greatest statesmen in Joseon’s history. Even exhausting every resource felt inadequate.

If it were possible, Kang-hyuk would have liked to replace the hemorrhoids with a brand-new healthy rectum altogether.

“Yeon, apply the disinfectant again.”

“Understood.”

After all, they were about to operate on the dirtiest part of the body.
Even though a thorough cleaning wouldn’t make much of a difference, Kang-hyuk didn’t want to cut corners.

-Swish, swish.

Yeon expertly cleaned the area with practiced hands.

The brown Betadine solution only made the area look messier.

“Applying this to the rectum feels… strange.”

“Don’t say things like that. Do you know who this man is?”

“Yes, yes.”

Dolseok quickly bowed his head at Kang-hyuk’s quiet reprimand.

“Alright, now let’s spread it open.”

“Yes…”

Dolseok and Yeon had practiced this step before. Their test subject had been the flail-wielding bandit leader, who was now dealing with significant aftereffects, including bloody diarrhea.

Kang-hyuk’s reasoning was simple: if they had captured the bandits, they might as well make full use of them. No one dared oppose the logic.

What choice did they have but to offer up their backsides?

“Practice makes perfect.”

There was no substitute for hands-on experience. Watching was better than listening, but doing it yourself was best.

The extent to which Dolseok and Yeon spread the area was precise—enough to provide visibility without causing tears. Too little, and the inner area would remain hidden.

“Thank you, young master.”

Yeon bowed slightly.

Back when they first started practicing, even Yeon had questioned the absurdity of the situation. Practicing how to spread a rectum with an iron rod seemed ridiculous, no matter how much it was for medical purposes.

But now that they had become proficient, it was clear that the training was necessary.

“Good. Keep it just like this.”

“Yes, young master.”

Kang-hyuk examined the interior of the rectum, now spread about three centimeters wide.

Clustered together inside were enormous hemorrhoids. While Kang-hyuk had intentionally used a term like “clustered” to make it sound less intimidating, the reality was utterly grotesque.

‘So, I need to excise these, remove them, and suture the area.’

Hemorrhoids were as old as human history itself, and countless treatments had been developed over time. Tools designed to operate in such narrow, dark spaces had already been invented. Unfortunately, Kang-hyuk’s portable medical kit didn’t include those specialized instruments. He would have to make do with just a scalpel and suturing tools.

The difficulty of the procedure was almost on par with cranial surgery.

“Phew.”

Kang-hyuk let out a low sigh as he stared down at Seongryong’s rectum. The one saving grace was how effective the anesthetic had proven to be.

Yeoju was diligently monitoring his breathing, and so far, everything looked stable. It seemed likely to stay that way.

“Alright, let’s begin. There’s going to be a lot of bleeding. Don’t panic, and follow what we practiced.”

“Yes, young master.”

Dolseok and Yeon responded in serious tones, mimicking Kang-hyuk’s solemn demeanor.

“I’m making the first incision. You know the order, right?”

“Of course.”

During their training, they had even performed surgery on the bandits who had minor cases of hemorrhoids. It was rare to find anyone in Joseon without some degree of the condition, making it a feasible endeavor.

As a result, the three of them had developed excellent teamwork when it came to hemorrhoid surgery.

-Slice.

Kang-hyuk’s scalpel sliced through the engorged internal hemorrhoid.

Dark red blood, mixed with clotted debris, gushed out.

“Yeon!”

“Yes.”

Yeon put down the retractors and used tweezers with gauze to press against the bleeding area. Simultaneously, Dolseok picked up the retractors to maintain visibility.

Their movements were perfectly coordinated.

“Good. Keep it up. Now release it.”

“Yes.”

The bleeding from the hemorrhoid was primarily stagnant blood, which made hemostasis relatively straightforward. Proper pressure applied at the right time sufficed.

Taking advantage of the reduced bleeding, Kang-hyuk quickly began suturing the area.

‘There’s still clotted blood stuck in here.’

Using his tools, Kang-hyuk skillfully pressed out the remnants of trapped blood while suturing. Working within a three-centimeter gap required extraordinary precision.

‘If only the chief surgeon could see this.’

They’d probably offer him a full professorship on the spot—not just a department head position.

Even while entertaining such idle thoughts, Kang-hyuk’s suturing was flawless.

“Good. This area is done.”

They had scaled one mountain, but several more remained.

Kang-hyuk turned his attention to the next hemorrhoid and made another incision.

“Dolseok!”

“Yes!”

This time, Dolseok set down the retractors to handle the bleeding, while Yeon picked them up to keep the area visible.

“Phew. If it weren’t for you two, this would’ve been impossible.”

“Hehe. I’m glad we’re of help.”

Dolseok, evidently pleased, leaned closer to the rectum with a grin. Even though he was wearing a mask, the sight wasn’t particularly pleasant.

“Stay focused; we still have a long way to go.”

“Yes.”

“Yeoju, is the lord still alive?”

“Yes, he’s sleeping soundly.”

“Good. Let me know immediately if he stirs.”

“Understood.”

After all, they had the rectum fully exposed. If Seongryong woke up, it could lead to a major disaster—potentially something being forcibly expelled.

‘Oh, that’d be worse than the mountain incident.’

Though Kang-hyuk deeply respected Ryu Seongryong, he had no desire to be sprayed with his bodily waste.

‘I need to hurry.’

Not just because of that, but because no surgery benefited from being drawn out.

Kang-hyuk’s hands moved faster, and Dolseok and Yeon quickened their assistance.

“Yeon!”

“Yes!”

“Dolseok!”

“Yes!”

With each synchronized call and response, the grotesque hemorrhoids inside gradually disappeared.

By now, only one or two external hemorrhoids remained. While the condition was still severe, it was incomparable to how it had been at the start.

Kang-hyuk finished the remaining sutures and finally spoke.

“Good. We’re almost done now.”

“I can’t believe it worked,” Dolseok said, his face full of pride.

Yeon, too, seemed unable to hide her sense of accomplishment. Her ears had turned red with satisfaction.

“It feels like a dream.”

“Exactly. Now it looks like a normal human backside.”

Their irreverent conversation wasn’t exactly appropriate, but Kang-hyuk chose not to reprimand them. Anyone who endured this surgery had earned the right to such banter.

“But how do we wake him up?”

At Dolseok’s question, Yeon began rolling up her sleeves, clearly intending to deliver a harmless yet painful slap.

Kang-hyuk quickly waved his hands to stop her.

“Hey, hey! Let’s just wait until he wakes up naturally.”

“Just leave him like this?”

“Ah… no. Cover him up with something.”

“Yes, young master.”